- I am ridiculously, incurably addicted to chap stick.
- I have secretly always wanted to be part of a flash mob.
- My life long dream is to learn the "Thriller" dance.
- All throughout high school I participated in an ROTC program, and my plans revolved around joining the army. It was something I dreamed about my entire life, but learned I would never be accepted due to a minor heart problem.
- I spend an unbelievable amount of time listening to "call me Al" by Paul Simon, " and "Africa" by toto.
- I am a little obsessed with my hair. and by a little, i mean a shit ton.
- Seven is my favorite number. My ex almost had me convinced to name my oldest son "Silas Seven" after the character from Weeds and the number Seven. Glad I didn't listen!
- I have to pee.
Monday, January 9, 2012
A few random facts about me.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
11 Fashion Trends I Hope To See Die With The End Of 2011
1.) The Snuggie.
If there is one invention that is both useless, retarded, and hideously terrifying, it would have to be this "Snuggie" I thought for sure the Snuggie craze would have died down by now but, lo and behold, the obsession over this item is still going strong. How lazy are we that we can't just go turn up the heat? No, we must have a blanket with arm holes so that we can effectively spend more time sitting on our asses.
2.) Plaid Flannel.
Every where i look these days, I see plaid shirts, leggings, jackets, EVERYTHING. And this is just unacceptable. It is not 1993, and this is a trend that should have died long ago. Unless you are the reincatnation of Kurt Cobain or Layne Staley, or perhaps a lumberjack, then you have NO.EXCUSE. to dress like a bearded, overweight logger in his fourties.
3.) Feather Hair Extensions.
I must admit, I have a hatred for any and all hair extensions to begin with (will get to that later) But, the worst hair trend I have seen in a long time is, without a doubt, these feather hair extensions. It just makes no sense to me. What is cute about looking like you assaulted Big Bird to fix your hair? I mean, this is essentially, a fishing lure you are tying to your head. MAKES.NO.SENSE.
4.) Hair Extensions in General.
Call me crazy, but when I want long hair, I grow my hair out. I don't go to the salon and pay money to have fake hair duct taped to my scalp. Newsflash, dears, you're not fooling anyone.
5.) The "Oompa Loompa" Look.
I'm not sure when it became socially acceptable to look like Ernie from Sesame Street, or how anyone, ever, for any reason, could possibly find it attractive, but yet the just-drenched-myself-in-orange-paint look is STILL going strong. I just dont understand why more woman can't learn to love the skin they are given. I have never been a fan of over-tanning anyway, but this orange-skin trend takes the cake.
6.) Cupcakes.
It kind of confuses me that cupcakes have become such a major fashion statement. Don't get me wrong, I love my sugary, frostingy, cakey treats just as much as the next mommy blogger, but that doesn't mean that i feel the need to wear cupcake socks, or jewelry, or cut my hair to resemble a cupcake. Call me crazy, but I think food should be eaten, not worn.
7.) This. No more needs to be said.
8.) "Boots with the fur"
I should not even have to list this item, as this trend should have died a fiery death before it was even born. Unless you are an eskimo, there is no excuse for these hideous excuses for shoes.
9.) Hooker boots.
I love me a good boot, and I love me a good heel, but the combination of both, plus hideous pleather/insert other tacky fabric here stretched up above your knee is just ridiculous. If you are, in fact a prostitute, then by all means, have at it. But if you are a mother, business woman, or teenager, lets just NOT pretend we are "working girls" shall we?
10.) Low rise/hipster jeans.
Low rise jeans are only good for sorority girls who want to show off their thongs. It is inevitable, where there are low rise jeans, there will be asscrack. Maybe it is just me, but I find it disturbing when i see thirteen year old girls, or even fifty-something grandmothers at walmart bent over to grab something, top six inches of ass crack on full display. It is just a tad bit uncalled for.
11.) Cleavage.
Now, this, I must explain. I am all for a little peek or two of the goods in a cute top whilst going out dancing, or on a date, etc etc. But cleavage is something that should be reserved for the night life. It is NOT.OKAY. to go run errands in a vneck that damn near exposes your belly button, or to show of "the twins" at an important event such as court or a pta meeting.
If there is one invention that is both useless, retarded, and hideously terrifying, it would have to be this "Snuggie" I thought for sure the Snuggie craze would have died down by now but, lo and behold, the obsession over this item is still going strong. How lazy are we that we can't just go turn up the heat? No, we must have a blanket with arm holes so that we can effectively spend more time sitting on our asses.
2.) Plaid Flannel.
Every where i look these days, I see plaid shirts, leggings, jackets, EVERYTHING. And this is just unacceptable. It is not 1993, and this is a trend that should have died long ago. Unless you are the reincatnation of Kurt Cobain or Layne Staley, or perhaps a lumberjack, then you have NO.EXCUSE. to dress like a bearded, overweight logger in his fourties.
3.) Feather Hair Extensions.
I must admit, I have a hatred for any and all hair extensions to begin with (will get to that later) But, the worst hair trend I have seen in a long time is, without a doubt, these feather hair extensions. It just makes no sense to me. What is cute about looking like you assaulted Big Bird to fix your hair? I mean, this is essentially, a fishing lure you are tying to your head. MAKES.NO.SENSE.
4.) Hair Extensions in General.
Call me crazy, but when I want long hair, I grow my hair out. I don't go to the salon and pay money to have fake hair duct taped to my scalp. Newsflash, dears, you're not fooling anyone.
5.) The "Oompa Loompa" Look.
I'm not sure when it became socially acceptable to look like Ernie from Sesame Street, or how anyone, ever, for any reason, could possibly find it attractive, but yet the just-drenched-myself-in-orange-paint look is STILL going strong. I just dont understand why more woman can't learn to love the skin they are given. I have never been a fan of over-tanning anyway, but this orange-skin trend takes the cake.
6.) Cupcakes.
It kind of confuses me that cupcakes have become such a major fashion statement. Don't get me wrong, I love my sugary, frostingy, cakey treats just as much as the next mommy blogger, but that doesn't mean that i feel the need to wear cupcake socks, or jewelry, or cut my hair to resemble a cupcake. Call me crazy, but I think food should be eaten, not worn.
7.) This. No more needs to be said.
8.) "Boots with the fur"
I should not even have to list this item, as this trend should have died a fiery death before it was even born. Unless you are an eskimo, there is no excuse for these hideous excuses for shoes.
9.) Hooker boots.
I love me a good boot, and I love me a good heel, but the combination of both, plus hideous pleather/insert other tacky fabric here stretched up above your knee is just ridiculous. If you are, in fact a prostitute, then by all means, have at it. But if you are a mother, business woman, or teenager, lets just NOT pretend we are "working girls" shall we?
10.) Low rise/hipster jeans.
Low rise jeans are only good for sorority girls who want to show off their thongs. It is inevitable, where there are low rise jeans, there will be asscrack. Maybe it is just me, but I find it disturbing when i see thirteen year old girls, or even fifty-something grandmothers at walmart bent over to grab something, top six inches of ass crack on full display. It is just a tad bit uncalled for.
11.) Cleavage.
Now, this, I must explain. I am all for a little peek or two of the goods in a cute top whilst going out dancing, or on a date, etc etc. But cleavage is something that should be reserved for the night life. It is NOT.OKAY. to go run errands in a vneck that damn near exposes your belly button, or to show of "the twins" at an important event such as court or a pta meeting.
Monday, January 2, 2012
2011: A year in retrospect.
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Became a much better cook, wife, mother.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't even remember what my resolution was.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My vagina, actually
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, My step-father passed in June
5. What countries did you visit?
Lala Land.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More Sleep
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 16th was not only The Next John Candy's 1st birthday, but was also the day we learned we were expecting number four, aka Mr. Man.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Learning to bake from scratch, and the whole popping a baby out of my twat experience.
9. What was your biggest failure?
that one time, that that stuff happened.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not really, save for terrible recurring migraines. everything else was pregnancy related.
11. What was the best thing someone bought you?
hmmm...toss up between my deep freeze, new washer and dryer, or that bomb ass subway sandwich hubby brought home when i was fat and pregnant.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Your mothers, as it turns out.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Also, your mothers.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, food, and such.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having baby number 4.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Sexy and I Know It, unfortunately. (Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle NO.)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- Fatter or thinner?
way fatter.
- Happier or sadder?
Happier.
- Richer or poorer?
Richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleep.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being awake.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Like a boss.
21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
More and more every day.
22. How many one night stands?
432. and by 432 i mean none.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's Anatomy.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nah.
25. What was the best book you read?
The Time Traveler's Wife. Or, Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
27. What did you want and get?
28. What did you want and not get?
More sleep. A vacation. A maid.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Movies just all seem to suck these days.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22. Husband bought me subway as that is what i was craving, and he and the kiddies made me carrot cake, and he took me shopping the day before.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not to have gained more weight than seemingly possible during my pregnancy. But i'm losing it slowly but surely so i cant complain.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
I spent february to october in maternity clothes, and the rest of it in sweats or jeans. Don't you judge me.
33. What kept you sane?
That guy on my couch. also known as husband.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None. all there are anymore are a bunch of reality tv trainwrecks. idk why anyone would idolize that.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The whole America is in debt up to their ears fiasco. For awhile there it was threatened that social security checks wouldnt be sent out (i believe this was in the month of august) because the government doesnt know how to manage its finances, and as the wife of a disabled american veteran who receives one of said checks, it was a topic that hit home.
36. Who do you miss?
My bestest friend, who moved a few hours north of here.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Mr. Man, the newest addition to our family.
38. What was the best thing you ate?
Husband's Famous Chicken Wings. He is a culinary master.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011?
That, given time, people will always show whether or not they truly care, and that you shouldnt fret over finding out you dont matter as much as you thought you did to certain family members and/or friends, because in the end, the people who really do love you will always be there.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"When you're weak, I'll be strong//When you let go, I'll hold on//When you need to cry, I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes//When you feel lost and scared to death,//Like you can't take one more step//Just take my hand, together we can do it//I'm gonna love you through it."
Became a much better cook, wife, mother.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't even remember what my resolution was.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My vagina, actually
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, My step-father passed in June
5. What countries did you visit?
Lala Land.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More Sleep
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 16th was not only The Next John Candy's 1st birthday, but was also the day we learned we were expecting number four, aka Mr. Man.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Learning to bake from scratch, and the whole popping a baby out of my twat experience.
9. What was your biggest failure?
that one time, that that stuff happened.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not really, save for terrible recurring migraines. everything else was pregnancy related.
11. What was the best thing someone bought you?
hmmm...toss up between my deep freeze, new washer and dryer, or that bomb ass subway sandwich hubby brought home when i was fat and pregnant.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Your mothers, as it turns out.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Also, your mothers.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, food, and such.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having baby number 4.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Sexy and I Know It, unfortunately. (Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle NO.)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- Fatter or thinner?
way fatter.
- Happier or sadder?
Happier.
- Richer or poorer?
Richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleep.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being awake.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Like a boss.
21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
More and more every day.
22. How many one night stands?
432. and by 432 i mean none.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's Anatomy.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nah.
25. What was the best book you read?
The Time Traveler's Wife. Or, Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
27. What did you want and get?
28. What did you want and not get?
More sleep. A vacation. A maid.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Movies just all seem to suck these days.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22. Husband bought me subway as that is what i was craving, and he and the kiddies made me carrot cake, and he took me shopping the day before.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not to have gained more weight than seemingly possible during my pregnancy. But i'm losing it slowly but surely so i cant complain.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
I spent february to october in maternity clothes, and the rest of it in sweats or jeans. Don't you judge me.
33. What kept you sane?
That guy on my couch. also known as husband.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None. all there are anymore are a bunch of reality tv trainwrecks. idk why anyone would idolize that.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The whole America is in debt up to their ears fiasco. For awhile there it was threatened that social security checks wouldnt be sent out (i believe this was in the month of august) because the government doesnt know how to manage its finances, and as the wife of a disabled american veteran who receives one of said checks, it was a topic that hit home.
36. Who do you miss?
My bestest friend, who moved a few hours north of here.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Mr. Man, the newest addition to our family.
38. What was the best thing you ate?
Husband's Famous Chicken Wings. He is a culinary master.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011?
That, given time, people will always show whether or not they truly care, and that you shouldnt fret over finding out you dont matter as much as you thought you did to certain family members and/or friends, because in the end, the people who really do love you will always be there.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"When you're weak, I'll be strong//When you let go, I'll hold on//When you need to cry, I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes//When you feel lost and scared to death,//Like you can't take one more step//Just take my hand, together we can do it//I'm gonna love you through it."
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